the list...

so for a while now i have wanted to write a list of things i want to do/accomplish/achieve in my life. some are epic, some are mundane, some are not even close to being practical

so here goes in no particular order...

• take tennis lessons


• become a master at something/be the best in the world at something


• successfully make sushi


• have my own art show that i am actually proud of


• live in another country for 1-2 years


• look like i did when i got married


• finish the children's book i started a year ago


• start and complete another book i have an idea for


• illustrate said books


• be a better friend, wife, mother, daughter, neighbor...etc


• live in the moment


• come up with an epic life changing original idea


• be proud of who i am


• complete my arm sleeve


• find a job i love that pays me a lot of money


• take more time to volunteer and give back


• get out of debt


• take eisley to disney world/land


• go to hogwarts


• start a project that produces something tangible everyday for a year and record the process - and STICK TO IT and not abandon it after a week or two
• become fluent in german or french

well that's all for now - i'll add more i'm sure - any ideas for me on how to achieve these things - you know where to find me...

fairy cakes...

cupcakes, cuckoo cakes, mini cakes...

perhaps one of the easiest, but most rewarding baking you can do. simple ingredients, simple tools, come together to create an amazing, complex and delicious treat for 12. individual petite cakes - perfect on the go, perfect for portion control - that is if you can only eat one. i'm not talking about the big plastic box you buy at the grocery with day old cake, frosting with a crust and sprinkles still around from your mama's childhood years or boxed mixes complete with premade frosting and years old sprinkles (no offense - i know both are time saving to a certain extent but usually filled with LOADS of perservatives and junk). i'm talking about you and some flour, some sugar, and some milk (soy or cow's) and creating magic in your kitchen in about 25 minutes start to finish. mix it all up, spoon it in the cups and bake them...then, if you can wait till they are completely cool, let free all of your pent up creativity and create a masterpiece that you will be proud to carry around while wandering around your neighborhood looking for a friendly neighbor to share them with.

i made some really good cupcakes last night. i got the book Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World yesterday in the mail and decided that i couldn't wait to make some! i made the tiramisu cupcakes last night (cake was made vegan but i didn't have "vegan cream cheese" nor have i ever been able to find it- so i made normal icing) - let's just say this- to DIE FOR! i sent the remaining ones, after all the neighbors got one and me and shane each had one, to work with shane this morning...so we'll see what their verdict is when shane comes home tonight - they were from the night before so they might not be as good - but still - at 8am who can pass up a really pretty looking little fairy cake????

(i used starbucks coffee liqueur and a starbucks mocha dark chocolate bar for the chocolate curls, and hershey's special extra dark cocoa powder for finishing)

where the hell is matt?

Stream of Life
by Gitanjali

The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and day
runs through the world and dances in rhythmic measures.
It is the same life that shoots in joy through the dust of the earth
in numberless blades of grass
and breaks into tumultuous waves of leaves and flowers.
It is the same life that is rocked in the ocean-cradle of birth
and of death, in ebb and in flow.
I feel my limbs are made glorious by the touch of this world of life.
And my pride is from the life-throb of ages dancing in my blood this moment.

bento #3

bento #3:

baby carrots, edamame, teriyaki tofu, onigiri with black sesame seeds, and teriyaki quinoa balls.

bento #2

oooooh....bento #2:

baby carrots, edamame, onigiri (mine is made of bamboo rice - naturally that green color), tofu and veggie potstickers, tamari and potsticker dipping sauces, homemade (killer) blueberry muffin, and a banana!

i feel good...

i feel really good today. almost euphoric. weird.

it's raining outside - that might have something to do with - barometric pressure changes or something weird like that - like when women go into labor early because of a full moon or a freak snow storm in late may... maybe it can affect your mind too?

i did make fresh grapefruit, berry, and banana juice for breakfast this morning - fresh fruit gives you energy right?

i did some calesthenics too this morning - worked up a good sweat...perhaps i released an abundance of endorohins?

i haven't eaten dairy in a week....???

i left the house in a "clean" state...laundry done, dishes cleaned...what do they say? a clean home reflects a clean life...or something like that?

thanks god for whatever the reason behind my happiness and good feelings - ultimately it's you anyway!

my first attempt at bento!

it's not too pretty but kinda cute in a homemade sort of way! i gotta practice before eisley gets big enough to go to school - so shane gets cutesy lunches while i practice my "bento skills".

skinny b*$@h

so... i just read (literally i read it in like 3 hours) the book Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin. it was recommended to me as a supplement to my reading of YOU: on a diet and The Healthiest Kid in the Neighborhood which i have mentioned before. it starts off telling you exactly the same stuff in the other two books - don't eat high fructose corn syrup, don't eat anything with dyes, eat whole grains, don't eat hydrogentated oils....blah blah blah boring i already KNOW this. but then.......the books hits you up side the head with the facts on meat and dairy in our society. wow. shane actually asked me what was wrong cause i was so shocked i couldn't speak. the book brought tears to my eyes, not only from the horrific stories (there aren't many - it's not a PETA pamphlet) of animal abuse and slaughter practices, but also from the policies or lack there of on the safety of the food that actually reaches our mouths via grocery stores and restaurants. i was pretty disheartened about my supposed "healthy" eating plan that i had in place for not only me but my husband and child. so that being said, we as a family are going to try and cut out most (if not all, in time) of our dairy and meat consumption. i want this to be clear too - that i don't in fact think it unethical to kill for food. i am concerned about how the food that i buy is killed and the seriously gross practices of the meat industry that compromise my family's health. i have ordered a few books from amazon to help us start slowly cutting out certain things... i'll post reviews as i read them...

for now, i leave you with an exerpt from the book. this is what put me over the edge.

"A worker at another poultry plant said, 'Every day, I saw black chicken, green chicken, chicken that stank, chicken with feces on it. Chicken like this is supposed to be thrown away, but instead it would be sent down the line to be processed.' Another worker at another plant said, 'I personally have seen rotten meat - you can tell by the odor. This rotten meat is mixed with the fresh food and is sold for baby food. We are asked to mix it with the fresh food and this is the way it is sold. You can see the worms inside the meat. " Skinny Bitch pg74.

take your health seriously - you only live once - now there's a different way to look at that saying!

p.s. the book does contain A LOT of profanity - i mean look at the title :) But, if you can get past it - it's brutally honest and a good quick, enlightening read.

the smell of summer...

the wind runs its fingers through my hair
the sun delicately kisses my face
the smell of summer tempts my nose
the trees whisper sweet nothings to me as i pass
the sky bright blue like silk
the clouds soft white like cotton
ducks drift lazily downstream
a butterfly challenges me to a race around the pond


i have just had what can only be described as an "amelie" moment. all was right in the world. i wish i could have filmed my bike ride this afternoon - it was poetic, inspiring, calming, perfect.

lately i've noticed that i am much happeir than i was about a year ago. maybe it's exercising more - that high that people say they get when they exercise - maybe it's finally kicked in for me. what ever the reason, i'm not as depressed or as down as i was before and i am glad! i feel like i am reclaiming my life once more and i like where it is heading.

one more thing - i don't know what smelled sooooo good outside today - but i wish i could bottle and sell it as the essence of summer - i could live in the smell today.

no babies yet...

"WHAT?!?!?!?!!" you are saying to yourself right now, "THEY WANT MORE KIDS??? I THOUGHT THEY WERE DONE...."

you're right - we are soooooooooo done (well, maybe we'll adopt a little boy someday - but yeah we're done having babies)

what i AM talking about is....it has been over 17 days since the earwig decided that my ear looked like a pleasant dwelling place. 17 days? why is 17 days important? it takes 17 days for an earwigs eggs to hatch. there no babies in my ear that i know of - thank god - but maybe they're just realllllly tiny right now and i can't tell...

*whimper, whimper*