Thursday, May 1, 2008

bee in your bonnet?

yesterday, i had the most horrific, traumatizing experience...


let me set the scene for you...


i am sitting on the stairs leading down to the "park" in our neighborhood holding eisley talking with some of our neighbors and watching our next door neighbor's little girl mia yell at lewy repeatedly to drop his ball for her to throw...'dwop it woowee dwop it dwop it dwop it dwop it!!!!" ( he did eventually 'dwop' it for her ) all is well, the sun is shining, there are even the proverbial birds singing! i decide to let eisley walk around in the grass...yes, she is walking...kind of, mostly, sporadically and only on her terms...all of a sudden i feel/hear a flutter-like something in my ear. i quickly wave my hand by my ear, but feel like the something has flown into my ear or something. i say aloud - "gross, i think a bug just flew in my ear!" i call shane over to look in there for evidence of the supposed bug intruder...he doesn't see anything(this time). i go about playing with the boo boo...then i hear the flutter again - this time definitely IN my ear. "shane, look in there now"...nothing... the neighbors advise me to get a q-tip and get the sucker out, but i'm too afraid to squish it in there or something...minutes go by...i can FEEL it in there now which is even worse than just hearing it!!!!!!!!! "SHANE, look now!" he rushes over and in only a way he could so delicately put it..."HOLY COW!" i of course freak the heck out! "what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it? he tells me to hold still, meanwhile everyone in the park, including the little girl mia, our dog lewy and his furry friend lister, are looking at me with concern.





*graphic content to follow be warned!*





OUT CRAWLS not flies a LONG BUG...let that just sink in for a moment...upon seeing shane it THEN IT CRAWLS BACK IN! 15 seconds later (the longest of my life), it reemerges and shane deftly brushes it off me. i feel like i have bugs alllllll over me (think indiana jones the temple of doom when the lady has to reach into the grimey hole and pull the level and there are creepy crawlies all over her) and i am on the verge of tears - my eyes welled up and i ask "what was that!!!" shane, again so delicately, "oh my god it was an EARWIG!" i nearly threw up right there on the spot! my neighbor denise (lister's mom) says "geez, shane you coulda lied to her!" yeah i really would have liked NOT knowing what exactly it was! you see, i have a history with earwigs......again let me set the scene


beautiful summer day, i am young - elementary school age - and i have just come in from playing outside for something to drink. my mom used to save and wash our straws from mcdonalds or wherever and kept them in the dish drainer next to the sink. i grabbed a straw put in my beverage and took a long drink - something foreign and solid is in my mouth. i spit it out and it was an earwig....so gross...i know check every straw i use - ALWAYS...just in case.


what is up with me and the earwigs???? i'm still pretty freaked out it layed eggs in my ear or something out of a horror movie is gonna happen to me....remember the Wrath of Khan - they killed a guy by putting a bug in his ear....remember Broke Down Palace - she almost died because a cockroach layed eggs in her ear! maybe it's just psychological, but i swear my ear feels different...grossssssssss


i hate bugs ( whimper whimper )






3 comments:

Tirz said...

Oh my word ... seriously gave me the heebie jeebies just reading about that experience and then to have to see that photo!! Oh Elisa ... so sorry ... really am! My sympathies to you. At least it wasn't a putzie (maggot) on your bum or some other place - a commonality growing up in Africa if you didn't iron ALL your laundry very well that you left out to dry on the line:)

Jenn said...

I am so sorry. That made me itch everywhere, I am already on high bug alert, tis the season they start hiding in the shower.

Jarrod Renaud said...

hilarious. Im glad it wasnt me:)