you're haunting me

dearest starbucks,

i realized yesterday after i wrote to you about my unfaithfulness that your presence will always haunt me. yesterday while at the grocery, i saw your face no less than four times. my first reminder of our old life together was immediately upon entering the store. there you were, hiding in the corner tucked away next to the specialty cheese cooler, your gentle fragrance slowly swirling around beckoning me to come to you and enjoy your warm flavor. but i held strong, those times are over between us - we can meet occasionally, but you will not bully me or manipulate me back into a serious relationship with you.

i then passed a cooler of drinks and saw your face again. a bottled frappucino - which i don't like - but i was almost tempted. then, down the coffee aisle. shelves upon shelves of your wonderfully roasted beans calling out to me. my will power held as you tried desperately to lure me back. but then, i went down the snack aisle...a seemingly safe zone from temptations from you. i glanced to the left and there on the top shelf, in beautifully simple and alluring packaging, you were. you were disguised as a mocha dark chocolate bar - i had never seen that side of you before and a glimmer of our old life and a hope for a new future between us was sparked. your scheming ways worked. i bought you and delighted in your perfectly smooth creamy chocolate with just the right hint of coffee and bits of bean. i suppose our relationship can continue a little longer in this new way. but i am warning you that i'm on to you - i know this could be some kind of trap and i am ready to run if i have to. i want to trust you, i do.

your apprehensively,
elisa.

p.s. i truly think it was a sign that i looked left last night as it was your first day of being chocolate too. http://www.starbucks.com/aboutus/pressdesc.asp?id=838

confessions...

dearest starbucks,

i know i've been distant lately and we haven't been seeing as much of each other. i'm sorry i haven't been completely honest with you. i don't know quite how to put this. i suppose i should just get it out there fast and quick like ripping off a band aid.

i have been going somewhere else.

it was a chance encounter. my parents introduced us at christmas time and we really hit it off. i've actually been going almost every day. i know we've shared some truly great times recently. last saturday when the weather finally felt like spring and we walked to see you and sat beneath your shady green umbrellas is a memory i will cherish forever. and our time every friday afternoon with lauren at coffee club has brought times of joy and renewal to our lives. there were weeks where i sought you out every day, and days where i would go out of my way to see you several times a day. i couldn't get enough of you. in a way you could say i became obsessed. you have a luring quality that cannot be denied.

but, this new place is a new way of life. it's a change that i have longed for. i only have to walk as far as my kitchen to enjoy the beautiful aroma of a freshly pulled espresso shot. in fact, it's moved in permanently. here it doesn't matter if i get cleaned up or put on makeup. here i can totally be myself. and honestly, not to hurt you but to inform you, here is much much better coffee and you are not a cheap date. i mean, $3.50 for a latte? here it only costs maybe a dollar. my eyes were opened to your sometimes scheming ways. i wanted an out and i found one.

you'll always have a special place in my heart and i hope we can still be friends and see each other socially every now and then. we'll always have friday afternoon coffee club and sundays after church. i hope you know that i never meant to hurt you.

yours affectionately,
elisa.

p.s. i'm sorry that my parents actually met your replacement while visiting you...i know he's like your brother and i'm sure that is very hard for you.

ok two things..real quick...

No 1. i realized that i mentioned that i am planning to run the bolder boulder this year. i have as of this second 87 days, 19 hours, 1 min, 41 seconds...40, 39, 38, 37...you get the idea. i think you are due an update of my slow and somewhat shaky progress. i started out not being able to run more than one and half minutes before having to walk one in between! I now can proudly say i can run 5 minutes with 1 - 2 min walking in between...almost indefinitely...which, if by indefinitely you interpret that to mean a half an hour then you are dead on! so let's do some math. yippee! the bolder boulder is a 10K or 6.2 mile course. i can run for about 2 miles - in 30 minutes which equals SLOW! so in 87 days, 18 hours, 57 min, 39 seconds, 38, 37, 36...i have to increase my mileage 200% and my speed so that i am not rudely, but justly, KICKED OFF the course so that the "professional" (read speedy) runners can do what the days is all about - race, not hope and pray just to make it to the end!

No 2. i read this on a friend's blog and thought that my non-mutual friends would also benefit from this humorous story:

starbucks closes to learn how to make coffee.

yep it's true, you have been paying $3.50 for a latte that wasn't really a latte...apparently?

addictive behavior

i have an addiction. they say that the first step to overcoming an addiction is acknowledgement. so here i am, acknowledging it.

i am addicted to starbucks.

shhhhh....don't tell anyone though - i am only telling you - that is acknowledgement enough for now.

i wake up, i think of how delicious a tall soy one-pump carmel macchiato sounds. i get ready, i think how delightful a iced grande soy latte with one perfect splenda would be. i drive to work, i think of the way half-and-half looks like swirling smoke when you pour it into a venti iced coffee and how i might do anything to get one. inevitably i cave. i try and spend less than $5 when i go. and for the most part, i can somehow resist those little fluted cakey cookies so unprecociously named madeleines.

every friday i go to coffee club with loo-loo. we sit outside under green umbrellas talking and joking and in general just enjoying eachothers company. i love friday coffee club and am almost depressed when it doesn't happen for one reason or another. every sunday (almost) the crew we roll with goes to lunch (usually chipotle - i am not personally addicted to it - but i know three boys who are - YOU KNOW WHO ARE - acknowledgement is the first step to recovery!!!!) and then it's on to starbucks. we sit for a long long time talking and playing with the babies, in general just getting to know this new hodge podge family that god has created for us (strangely enough, this new family has mostly been brought together by starbucks. that is another blog in and of itself, but let's just say starbucks weaves in and out of all our lives!) My mom is also a fan of the "bucks" and orders with flare! she rollllllllllls her R's in "grrrrrrrrande" and sounds strangely italian or at least foreign when she says "tall cafe vanilla frappuccino light!" you might say she is my "enabler." she all too often buys me one of those enslaving beverages. i love my mom - for more reasons than just that, but that is high up on the list.

there are a few things i don't particularly like about starbucks 1.) can be habit forming - obvisouly 2.) a little high in price at times 3.) and it seems like they might be taking over the world.

But there are far more things i do like... it's a warm inviting place to meet friends, coworkers, or family, read a book, spend time writing, meet new people...etc. it's always full of holiday cheer :) and it's truly great coffee.

truthfully, i don't wanna get over it - i want to bathe in its warm, robust aroma

...just one more time...