it all started two years ago. shane and i decided that we should buy a house. we live in colorado...so we could not afford to buy the perfect house....one with a yard, basement, two/three car garage, on the water for candle-lit suppers and riparian delights, and room for a pony...we could afford a townhouse...with no yard, no basement, one car garage, not on the water (unless it rains really hard and the park floods) and definitely NO ponies. we were happy at first and even got a dog though our living situation would mean frequent dog walks and even more frequent poop scooping from the common community park. we loved our new furniture we got as a house warming present from my overly generous parents - I LOVE YOU MOMMY! we loved our huge (to us) kitchen with cabinet space for all my silly cooking devices. we loved THREE bathrooms. but, we suffered at the hands of a neighbor-who-shall-not-be-named (sound ominous huh?) because of our large dog and his large bark. we suffered the horrible parking/or lack there of when friends came over. we were plagued by teenage vandals in the park - spray painting and even attempting to light on fire our gazebo. we lamented no private yard. we were extremely jealous of those townhomes in the neighborhood with a/c and basements to which they could escape the heat. then...i was found to be with child...and i loathed our neighborhood more. i became the reclusive neighbor...the one who peaked out of the blinds and glared at those having fun in the park or chatting just a little too loud as they walked past on a stroll before dinner. i think i just didn't handle being pregnant well...i felt like i was in the movie alien and was being used as a host for something...creeps me out still! then the baby arrived - thank god it wasn't like in alien popping out of my chest and all that - she came almost to the day, one year after we moved into our house. i became even more reclusive...i think i suffered from post-partum depression actually. i began to dwell on only the negative stuff i saw around my house and neighborhood. even when my nieghbors would talk to me i would barely reply and was, i am quite sure, very rude to them...i apologize from the bottom of my heart - i have a horrible habbit of making poor first impressions and am frequently apologizing for my behaviour!
so while my kiddo was busy making fast friends with the neighbors with her daddy, i continued to stay inside and sulk. but one day - i can't pinpoint it - i snapped the heck out of it! i decided to join all the laughing smiling people in the park and i loved it. perhaps having a child makes you go out of your comfort zone a little more and more each day. children don't yet have that social boundary system in place and by association, you as the parent, are forced to abandon your personal bubble issues. all of a sudden things in the "hood" were different for me. the neighbor-who-shall-not-be-named was forgotten...mostly, new ways of parking friends' cars were found, and we commondeered the small patch of grass next to our house as "ours" (but we share!) and made our back porch a great hang out spot. we still don't have central a/c or a basement.....but we now have neighbors...no friends...who do and invite us over to escape the heat with them.
we've made a family of sorts in the neighborhood. there are families and couples with dog babies, no singles yet...but maybe someday, if we ever connect with the strange guy with the guitar. we share food, drinks, movies, music, and books. we are all so different as first glance but we all share a lot of background experience and interests. we play badminton into the night - with our special glow-in-the-dark birdie and have (newly named) "thirsty thursdays" together. but, most rewarding for me...and as my neighbor, dnsvm.blogspot.com, has already said...is having other women/mothers around me, supporting me, teaching me by example...befriending me and my little girl. that has meant the world to me. i feel safer in our neighborhood, i feel more at ease in this new life of mommyhood, and i feel like i have people to confide in. i love peeking out the window now, not with a glare but a grin, as i hear lister's bark as he gets walked down the street, or as i hear the twins and miss personality splashing in the pool, playing house in the gazebo, or running circles around each other through the trees in the park. now i want to scoop up my boo boo and run out there with them...i know the cold and snow will bring an end to some of the fun, but i think we'll adapt...and i can't wait!
so while my kiddo was busy making fast friends with the neighbors with her daddy, i continued to stay inside and sulk. but one day - i can't pinpoint it - i snapped the heck out of it! i decided to join all the laughing smiling people in the park and i loved it. perhaps having a child makes you go out of your comfort zone a little more and more each day. children don't yet have that social boundary system in place and by association, you as the parent, are forced to abandon your personal bubble issues. all of a sudden things in the "hood" were different for me. the neighbor-who-shall-not-be-named was forgotten...mostly, new ways of parking friends' cars were found, and we commondeered the small patch of grass next to our house as "ours" (but we share!) and made our back porch a great hang out spot. we still don't have central a/c or a basement.....but we now have neighbors...no friends...who do and invite us over to escape the heat with them.
we've made a family of sorts in the neighborhood. there are families and couples with dog babies, no singles yet...but maybe someday, if we ever connect with the strange guy with the guitar. we share food, drinks, movies, music, and books. we are all so different as first glance but we all share a lot of background experience and interests. we play badminton into the night - with our special glow-in-the-dark birdie and have (newly named) "thirsty thursdays" together. but, most rewarding for me...and as my neighbor, dnsvm.blogspot.com, has already said...is having other women/mothers around me, supporting me, teaching me by example...befriending me and my little girl. that has meant the world to me. i feel safer in our neighborhood, i feel more at ease in this new life of mommyhood, and i feel like i have people to confide in. i love peeking out the window now, not with a glare but a grin, as i hear lister's bark as he gets walked down the street, or as i hear the twins and miss personality splashing in the pool, playing house in the gazebo, or running circles around each other through the trees in the park. now i want to scoop up my boo boo and run out there with them...i know the cold and snow will bring an end to some of the fun, but i think we'll adapt...and i can't wait!
