i know, i know

i've told myself time and time again - no expectations of grandeur this time ok?!?! but, nevertheless, i seem to find myself thinking way out at the big picture at what i hope to be able to do one day. which, may or may not be possible or probable. i typically shoot down all of shane's big grand ideas because, typically, i see all the tiny steps to get there and know (or presume to know) that he will give up or that the outcome of the all steps together doesn't justify the results of all the little ones in between. but now, i am realizing that maybe i'm wrong in all my assessments of his big grand ideas. maybe the little steps i see in his big plans aren't the little steps he'll actually take. maybe he will do things differently than i expect and the sum of the whole will be equal to the sum of the parts. what i'm trying to say is that through running i'm realizing that the small steps i take 6 out of 7 days a week count just as much as being able to run, say, 25 miles a week - that each of my little steps that i take may or may not add up to what i think the outcome will be. i ran 2 miles today - well run/walked 2 miles - it took me 33 minutes. that is slow by anyone's standards. BUT, i realized that speed doesn't count/matter. i still got out there and did it. i'm not ever going to win a race or set a world record. my true goal is to be able to do this running thing - and guess what i already am doing it. the time dedicated to running is more important than some distance or speed goal that i think i should be able to do someday. i just want running to be a part of my everyday life regardless of how many miles it actually puts on my shoes. right now, the dedication to get up early and run is enough and i'm ok with the idea that maybe that is all i will ever be up for. one day at a time determining to run. i read the book No Need For Speed by John Bingham and he outlines the cycle of inspiration and loss of interest or disappointment that usually happens when you don't see the celebration in the activity you're setting out to do. his solution is to find the joy in every run...no matter how small. He says you should think like this: Inspiration, Dedication, Perspiration, and Celebration - that way the cycle is just that, a cycle. when inspiration dies, like it inevitably will, the celebration of each run, finding the joy therein, will raise up new inspiration. this cycle isn't vicious - it's life giving.

don't say anything...unless...

sometimes i feel like i have nothing nice to say...so i say nothing at all...on my blog...to myself and friends and family, i say all kinds of not nice nothings! so, instead of saying all my not nice things, i thought i would say all the nice things right now.

i am loving the fall weather. though we live in colorado and our fall lasts approximately 2 weeks, and of those weeks there are really only about 5 hours devoted to fall weather each day, i am enjoying the chill! i love sweaters and socks and bundling up. i think i just like to feel cozy. i also look good in fallish colors!

i am too loving all the halloween and autumn decorations going up all over the neighborhood. even the neighbor i don't like too much put up something fallish - so, see she can't be ALL bad then! i have gourds on the front porch, pumpkin spice candles inside, and a bag-o-halloween decorations in the closet ready for our halloween party.

i went to estes park with loo loo and kel bel and have a marvelous time. it was quite possibly the most picturesque day of my life. let me take you there...it was a beautiful drive up - not many people on the road (except once we got into town), bright yellow patches of changing aspens dotting the mountains with hints of not often seen autumnal red leaves sprinkled here and there too. it was the elk festival, so of course, there were a million people out and about. we easily though, thanks to loo and kel's expert knowledge of the area due to a summer/fall of working up there, found a parking spot and a cozy chinese place to eat. we ate delicious food and chit chatted about everything. then we went off to explore the town and the festival. we walked by the river behind all the shops to avoid the hustling bustling crowds as long as possible and admired the houses whose porches hung out over the rushing water. the air got chillier and chillier as we walked and ominous dark grey clouds started to build to the west. we stopped in to a few stores and even bought some touristy shirts - "got oxygen?" we walked and walked occcassionaly stopping to comment on something in a shop window. we finally came to the park hosting the elk festival where there were tipis and camp fire cooking, stations to learn how to make a fire by rubbing two sticks together, racoon fur hats, and lots of mullets and tight wrangler jeans. there was only a half an hour left of the festival so the crowd was thinning. then we saw the wolves. real live wolves! there were two massive wolves in a pen pacing and staring down the gawking onlookers. then came a voice "move back! moving wolves! get back!" and from behind the pen came a man and two women guiding two even bigger wolves on leashes to be put back in the truck. they were terrified with tails tucked and it made me a little sad that this was i how i saw wolves in real life. we then continued on to our favorite estes haunt - a little place only the locals know about - perhaps maybe you've heard of it - starbucks! as we walked down the crowded street, a gust of wind came and blew tiny yellow leaves down upon our heads. we all stopped - blocking the walking traffic - and stared up at the rapidly greying sky with hands outstretched as the leaves fell against our faces and palms. we walked on to get our coffee and made it in just before a rush and snatched up the last table. then it started to rain. sprinkles at first and then not quite a downpour but no longer a drizzle. we waited it out sipping on our cups of friendship and warmth. we moved on once the rain subsided some, but were quickly pushed back under cover and sat for a few minutes outside a local real estate office's overhang and perused the for sale homes that we will never be able to afford. we left our shelter and made our last major stop at the candy apple store and then it was off home. there was more traffic on the way down which helped to bring us all out of our reverie for our perfect fall afternoon and soon we were back in longmont and we'd missed the eastern traveling rain clouds by a only a few minutes.

it's nearly time for christmas music - and that always puts smile on my face!

we're going on a vacation of sorts to visit my family in IL next week. we have one of those rare families that actually all get along with one another and genuinely enjoy eachother's company and don't fight when in tight quaters with eachother - perhaps it is because we only see eachother once a year. nonetheless, it will be 6 days of kickball games, pots upon pots of coffee, hardee's breakfasts, guitar playing, children laughing, home cookin', and love.

ok, that was enough to cheer me up subtantially and forget at least for a few moments that i have not nice things to say too - but i'll focus on my nice things today at least!

google told me so...

so every once in a while i like to do that silly thing where you search google for "'your name' needs" i.e. "elisa needs" and then see what the results are...pretty funny here's this time's results in the order they appear in the search:

1. elisa needs rehab - yikes
2. elisa needs a better icon and logo - what?
3. elisa needs to reflect - probably
4. elisa needs and supports - doesn't everybody?
5. elisa needs a man - yep just the one i already have ;)
6. elisa needs to update - again probably
7. elisa needs to have a framework that is both flexible and dynamic - hmmm true
8. elisa needs a nice bar on the top - ummm a bar on top of what? my roof?
9. elisa needs now - uh...
10. elisa needs to experience beautiful things - i do every day
11. elisa needs to be confirmed by a second method - i don't want any false positives or anything
12. elisa needs to gabe alone - what does that even mean?
13. elisa needs your measurements - huh, i wonder what i am making you
14. elisa needs to be adjusted - yep a good precision adjustment is just what i need
15. elisa needs to shout a bit more - yikes at who?
16. elisa needs to feel safe - maybe i need to feel safe from the person i need to shout at
17. elisa needs to be stored at 2 to 8 degrees Celsius - i like the cold i really really do, but that is chilly!
18. elisa needs less - wait, of what!!!
19. elisa needs to get like a 100 on this final - thank god this one can't be true - i'm not in school!!!
20. elisa needs further validation for quantification purposes - stupid validation process!

well, there you go - google's top picks for what i need :)