poop breath when shane's gone

shane is home and i am happy. this has been a hard month for us. he has to go to trade shows for his job about 6 times a year and they are usually pretty spaced out. this month, however, there were two trade shows with only a week in between. this is how it usually works: he leaves early in the morning -giving me a kiss before he goes - and i am usually too asleep to say more than a mumbled "luhhbbuuuu honey"(i am sad that i never get it together enough to wake up with him and make him breakfast or do something special for him - my excuse lately is "the baby" - but bologna, she is the best baby and doesn't wake up till 6 or 7!) everyday i get up, take lewy out, get baby up, feed baby disgusting pureed things, and wait for shane to call. the entire time he is gone i wait for him to call or text me. i try and pass my days as quickly as possible. i miss him like i would if i had lost a lung or some other vital organ. it's hard to breathe when he's not here. i feel out of breath like i am running a marathon at 15,000 ft - well, just walking at that altitude will wind you! when he is gone, i realize how much he does for me (see below) and how much god desires us to be united with someone. it's also impossible to fall asleep quickly when he is not there next me. i am cold - and usually smelling dog farts, because lewy sleeps with me when shane is gone and prefers his butt to be in my face - not that his face would be any better - he has poop breath and snores - anyways, i am cold and my mind races with every strange creak or sound. so i usually turn the light back on, try and get lewy to reposition himself, and read something until my eyes are so heavy that i have to sleep. making dinner is not fun either without someone to share it with. so i usually just eat something microwaveable or ramen noodles. life is not nearly as fun without my hunny bunny there by my side.

but strangely enough, most times when shane gets home, i treat him horribly, like he went away on purpose just to make me feel lonely and inadequate at doing a two person job. i know this isn't the case and that he is heartbroken whenever he has to leave me and the baby and even poop face lewy. but for some reason i retaliate to the wrong person and treat him like dirt. i am working on being loving and respectful when he gets back, because i love him and truly never want him to feel unloved or unwanted! i don't know why i wrote that - i guess i just need to put down a visual reminder to myself to not take out my frustrations on him.

so now life is back to normal. my feet are warm at night and i only have soft breath on the back of my neck and i can make dinner for two!

things shane does that i take for granted (a partial list):

• takes lewy out everyday before i get up
• turns the bathroom light on AFTER he closes the door
• wakes up every other morning to feed the baby
• buy dog food on the way home from work so i don't have to make a special trip
• picks up milk or some other various grocery
• rents me movies on saturdays when he is gone most of the day to keep me occupied
• gives me his onions and pepperoccinis (sp?) from salads
• calls me everyday on his way home for lunch
• texts me every afternoon about 3 to say he loves me
• takes the baby on a walk when he gets home from work so that i can have 10 minutes to do whatever the heck i want
• folds the laundry - i help too
• does dishes - again i help too
• rubs my back
• plays with my hair
• makes up silly songs and jokes to make me laugh
• works at a job that he doesn't love to make enough for us to live on
• remembers my favorite thing at restaurants and orders it for me
• doesn't complain about how things are going - even though sometimes i wish he would
• whispers or mouths "olive juice" and funny weird times
• gets along with my parents like he truly is their son
• can't cook but for boiling water but would try if you asked him to

i could and should write more but it's time to go home - you get the idea i'm sure - he does everything for me!