it's the holiday season...whoop-dee-doo and hickory dock!

ok, so i've been gone a long time....dying blog........

i feel i got some splainin' to do...first, shane was gone practically the entire month of november but for thanksgiving...so i was a little busy with working, being a single mom for the month, and tending to the overwhelmingly needy dog. second, about the third day after shane left, our laptop went the way of the buffalo with a dead keyboard and motherboard.

but now i am BACK baby and it's christmas time! *sigh* i love this time of year! but i've got a problem this year...one that can only be solved by writing a dear john letter....


dear "atmospheric conditions" aka the weather,

you know as well as i do that we have a love hate relationship. but this year, you have been driving me absolutely crazy. to quote my current favorite movie "your mood swings are giving me whiplash!"

thank you for the milder summer. not having A/C can make it difficult to withstand your heat that tends to get bottled up in our top floor bedroom, but you definately made an effort to try and not scorch me so much this year. however, our arrangement has always been that about halfway through september you start cutting back on the 90 degree days and give way to the more balmy ones of 75. you kept your temperatures up to 80 degrees until about two weeks ago. do i need to remind you that it is now december? i appreciate your concern that i did not "get enough fresh air the previous summer" and you "were only trying to help" but - sleeveless tops in october so the kiddos can play outside without getting heat stroke is a bit much. as we are on the topic of not keeping your agreements....you have always gotten either extremely cold or snowed on halloween. while, i will not complain too much about the fact that i didn't have to wear a coat while my little girl did her first ever trick-or-treating this year, i will say that you made me out to look like fool as i told my "new to colorado" neightbor that "of course it will snow on halloween - it ALWAYS does." i do not like looking the fool!

thank you for FINALLY snowing once we put up our christmas lights. it's about time! is that all you were waiting for? our christmas lights? if i had known that i would have put them up in october. stop with the freakishly warm days were the kids in the 'hood think it's ok to wear shorts in december and get down to being winter. i know your "official" day isn't till decmber 21st this year but our NORMAL agreement has always been a flexible date in november when it is clear that it is winter. so starting snowing already and you better stop in march when i tell you! GOT IT! if you plan on changing any of our agreements in the future, i want it in writing first. i am cc'ing this to my lawyer.

yours most annoyed

elisa.

i know, i know

i've told myself time and time again - no expectations of grandeur this time ok?!?! but, nevertheless, i seem to find myself thinking way out at the big picture at what i hope to be able to do one day. which, may or may not be possible or probable. i typically shoot down all of shane's big grand ideas because, typically, i see all the tiny steps to get there and know (or presume to know) that he will give up or that the outcome of the all steps together doesn't justify the results of all the little ones in between. but now, i am realizing that maybe i'm wrong in all my assessments of his big grand ideas. maybe the little steps i see in his big plans aren't the little steps he'll actually take. maybe he will do things differently than i expect and the sum of the whole will be equal to the sum of the parts. what i'm trying to say is that through running i'm realizing that the small steps i take 6 out of 7 days a week count just as much as being able to run, say, 25 miles a week - that each of my little steps that i take may or may not add up to what i think the outcome will be. i ran 2 miles today - well run/walked 2 miles - it took me 33 minutes. that is slow by anyone's standards. BUT, i realized that speed doesn't count/matter. i still got out there and did it. i'm not ever going to win a race or set a world record. my true goal is to be able to do this running thing - and guess what i already am doing it. the time dedicated to running is more important than some distance or speed goal that i think i should be able to do someday. i just want running to be a part of my everyday life regardless of how many miles it actually puts on my shoes. right now, the dedication to get up early and run is enough and i'm ok with the idea that maybe that is all i will ever be up for. one day at a time determining to run. i read the book No Need For Speed by John Bingham and he outlines the cycle of inspiration and loss of interest or disappointment that usually happens when you don't see the celebration in the activity you're setting out to do. his solution is to find the joy in every run...no matter how small. He says you should think like this: Inspiration, Dedication, Perspiration, and Celebration - that way the cycle is just that, a cycle. when inspiration dies, like it inevitably will, the celebration of each run, finding the joy therein, will raise up new inspiration. this cycle isn't vicious - it's life giving.

don't say anything...unless...

sometimes i feel like i have nothing nice to say...so i say nothing at all...on my blog...to myself and friends and family, i say all kinds of not nice nothings! so, instead of saying all my not nice things, i thought i would say all the nice things right now.

i am loving the fall weather. though we live in colorado and our fall lasts approximately 2 weeks, and of those weeks there are really only about 5 hours devoted to fall weather each day, i am enjoying the chill! i love sweaters and socks and bundling up. i think i just like to feel cozy. i also look good in fallish colors!

i am too loving all the halloween and autumn decorations going up all over the neighborhood. even the neighbor i don't like too much put up something fallish - so, see she can't be ALL bad then! i have gourds on the front porch, pumpkin spice candles inside, and a bag-o-halloween decorations in the closet ready for our halloween party.

i went to estes park with loo loo and kel bel and have a marvelous time. it was quite possibly the most picturesque day of my life. let me take you there...it was a beautiful drive up - not many people on the road (except once we got into town), bright yellow patches of changing aspens dotting the mountains with hints of not often seen autumnal red leaves sprinkled here and there too. it was the elk festival, so of course, there were a million people out and about. we easily though, thanks to loo and kel's expert knowledge of the area due to a summer/fall of working up there, found a parking spot and a cozy chinese place to eat. we ate delicious food and chit chatted about everything. then we went off to explore the town and the festival. we walked by the river behind all the shops to avoid the hustling bustling crowds as long as possible and admired the houses whose porches hung out over the rushing water. the air got chillier and chillier as we walked and ominous dark grey clouds started to build to the west. we stopped in to a few stores and even bought some touristy shirts - "got oxygen?" we walked and walked occcassionaly stopping to comment on something in a shop window. we finally came to the park hosting the elk festival where there were tipis and camp fire cooking, stations to learn how to make a fire by rubbing two sticks together, racoon fur hats, and lots of mullets and tight wrangler jeans. there was only a half an hour left of the festival so the crowd was thinning. then we saw the wolves. real live wolves! there were two massive wolves in a pen pacing and staring down the gawking onlookers. then came a voice "move back! moving wolves! get back!" and from behind the pen came a man and two women guiding two even bigger wolves on leashes to be put back in the truck. they were terrified with tails tucked and it made me a little sad that this was i how i saw wolves in real life. we then continued on to our favorite estes haunt - a little place only the locals know about - perhaps maybe you've heard of it - starbucks! as we walked down the crowded street, a gust of wind came and blew tiny yellow leaves down upon our heads. we all stopped - blocking the walking traffic - and stared up at the rapidly greying sky with hands outstretched as the leaves fell against our faces and palms. we walked on to get our coffee and made it in just before a rush and snatched up the last table. then it started to rain. sprinkles at first and then not quite a downpour but no longer a drizzle. we waited it out sipping on our cups of friendship and warmth. we moved on once the rain subsided some, but were quickly pushed back under cover and sat for a few minutes outside a local real estate office's overhang and perused the for sale homes that we will never be able to afford. we left our shelter and made our last major stop at the candy apple store and then it was off home. there was more traffic on the way down which helped to bring us all out of our reverie for our perfect fall afternoon and soon we were back in longmont and we'd missed the eastern traveling rain clouds by a only a few minutes.

it's nearly time for christmas music - and that always puts smile on my face!

we're going on a vacation of sorts to visit my family in IL next week. we have one of those rare families that actually all get along with one another and genuinely enjoy eachother's company and don't fight when in tight quaters with eachother - perhaps it is because we only see eachother once a year. nonetheless, it will be 6 days of kickball games, pots upon pots of coffee, hardee's breakfasts, guitar playing, children laughing, home cookin', and love.

ok, that was enough to cheer me up subtantially and forget at least for a few moments that i have not nice things to say too - but i'll focus on my nice things today at least!

google told me so...

so every once in a while i like to do that silly thing where you search google for "'your name' needs" i.e. "elisa needs" and then see what the results are...pretty funny here's this time's results in the order they appear in the search:

1. elisa needs rehab - yikes
2. elisa needs a better icon and logo - what?
3. elisa needs to reflect - probably
4. elisa needs and supports - doesn't everybody?
5. elisa needs a man - yep just the one i already have ;)
6. elisa needs to update - again probably
7. elisa needs to have a framework that is both flexible and dynamic - hmmm true
8. elisa needs a nice bar on the top - ummm a bar on top of what? my roof?
9. elisa needs now - uh...
10. elisa needs to experience beautiful things - i do every day
11. elisa needs to be confirmed by a second method - i don't want any false positives or anything
12. elisa needs to gabe alone - what does that even mean?
13. elisa needs your measurements - huh, i wonder what i am making you
14. elisa needs to be adjusted - yep a good precision adjustment is just what i need
15. elisa needs to shout a bit more - yikes at who?
16. elisa needs to feel safe - maybe i need to feel safe from the person i need to shout at
17. elisa needs to be stored at 2 to 8 degrees Celsius - i like the cold i really really do, but that is chilly!
18. elisa needs less - wait, of what!!!
19. elisa needs to get like a 100 on this final - thank god this one can't be true - i'm not in school!!!
20. elisa needs further validation for quantification purposes - stupid validation process!

well, there you go - google's top picks for what i need :)

clogged

lately, i have been so overly inspired by things that i can't let any of it out - i have a creativity clog. anyone have some inspiration drain-o that i could use?

top ten ways to get a clogged creativity center:

1. look at just the first page of esty.com
2. log into flickr.com
3. join a flickr group
4. read any book
5. go to blurb.com
6. search for a blog on a hobby/craft/art style/artist you enjoy and follow every single link that they like...hours of inspiration constipation coming up!
7. search artists on youtube.com
8. have creative friends and talk about what they're into right now
9. look at magazines
10. check this guy out - he'll blow your mind! markryden.com

word association fun

this is one of my favorite things to do when i just can't seem to fall asleep.... i think of a word, any word, and then think of the next word that it reminds me of and keep going and going and going and going....till i fall asleep...more entertaining than counting sheep, less fattening than getting a midnight snack.

so, i'm bored at work so here goes....five minutes on the clock please....go

work
check
bills
money
green
sweater
lisa
grove
gnomes
painting
easel
school
the art building
dirty
wash
"warsh"
lana bond
lauren
mushrooms
bikes
lazy
me
home
cozy
candles
pumpkin pie
thanksgiving
family
dreams
betsy
pink
victoria's secret
scanty
small
mice
squeaky
eisley
cooking
dinner
hungry
grocery shopping
mondays
thursday night dinners
friends
moving
boxes
tape
sticky
honey
bees
jerry seinfeld
annoying
sniffles
kleenex
judy's desk
avoid at all cost
the plague
druids
chanting
ohm
thailand
"wats"
monkeys
zoo
hippos
hungry hungry hippos
childhood
popsicles
dripping
faucets
fixing our floor


i should have thought of more things i'm sure but thinking them and then typing them kind of slows you down...and i only wasted five minutes....2 hours to go....

better back this up....

figured i better back up my claims of greatness....i mean accomplishments since the tv left....so, in a very photoful blog post, here you go!

Here are the makings of a cupcake hat for eisley - i just have to add the frosting :)

Here are some little pieces i have started and some i've finished:

Here are some felt lovelies that i have made:



















Here is a piece of pottery i painted...double espresso cup and saucer with birds on a wire :)













Here are just a few of cupcakes....














Here is the wall with shelves - i think the color reminds me of nacho cheese from a ball park but i like it still.














and finally - here is my first purchase from Emily Martin's The Black Apple esty shop...
(please note the "cupcake peddler" print from my previous post - which now belongs to ME and will soon be added to our "gallery wall")

life after we booted the tv...

life without tv.............people ask me all the time how life is different/better/worse/possible without your tv - NOT just cable.........the whole tv unit. it's hard to say a complete answer. life is definitely different - no doubt about that. sometimes it is better and sometimes it is worse (but rarely - all the election stuff and the olympics were kind of sad to miss). but mostly it is more than possible and in our lives it was a necessity!

it used to be cute when eisley would yell "dowa dowa dowa dowa" when dora the explorer came on....but when she started to throw a fit if dora wasn't on any channel or it was time to turn off the tv, it was no longer cute. it was nice to be home a lot and watch all kinds of home shows and i get grand ideas of how to organize and transform my house into a home, but when i forgot to do the dishes and mold grew in tupperware containers in the fridge it was not great. it was nice to sit down with my hubby and veg-out before bed with a dumb mtv show, but when we forgot how to have a normal meaningful conversation about something other than what heidi and LC were fighting about this time, it was not nice.

i hated my life revolving around a tv schedule. "oh sorry we can't do anything on mondays because the new hills is on, and tuesdays are out 'cause this other show we don't really even like but we HAVE to watch comes on and wednesdays between 7-9.30 is out because ANTM is on and then we have to watch the new run's house, no not thursdays either, but maybe there's a 2 hours window on friday because it's the off season for....blah blah blah" rushing home to watch some show is not a good priority and i knew this then, but i wonder i stopped caring. but i care now and that's what matters. we might have a "boring" house now, but i don't care we're better off for it. we don't usually do things half way in the beeson house.....all or nothing...we cheat too much if there are loopholes.

so if you click here you'll see how my life was when i first started thinking about what it would be like without the boob tube. and below is a list of what i've done after kicking the tv to the curb:

in no particular order:

• read about a gazillion books.....ok, not really.....half a gazillion at least though


• gotten back into art and my creativity has spiked for the first time in about 4 years


• made new friends


• gone on loads more walks, hikes, and bike rides


• been still and present and not off in some other world


• caught up on household schtuff


• organized


• painted a wall and installed shelves on it


• enjoyed my sweet neighborhood to it's fullest


• explored new spots in my hometown


• played more outside with my boo boo


• learned to be mindful of the task at hand....still working on that one


• learned toooooo much about this coming election- we didn't get rid of internet for goodness sake - we can't be completely shut off from pop culture


• baked more..........a lot more


• read books together with my husband - we read aloud alllllll the harry potters to eachother :)

i'm sure there's more...but you get the idea...life is much much different without the tv!

bummin'

i normally hate politics and want nothing to do with them let alone discuss them...but this year i've changed my mind - a bit - i'm not endorsing Obama, but i think some things need to be said about him.

i watched Obama's speech last night with my friends. i enjoyed it and thought it all well said and in reference to McCain very respectful. i'm saddened because of how the media is portraying his speech...already twisting it by cutting out sound bytes of small things that he said in a much broader context, piecing them together to portray that he bashed McCain the entire time and said little to nothing of his actual plan for his policy changes. i HIGHLY disagree! I'm bummed because i think too many republicans didn't actually watch last night and will only read articles and blogs from "their" side. instead of researching BOTH sides of the coverage on each candidate, i think we're doomed for another vote down party lines instead of a true look into what each candidate stands for and will bring to the table.

so i leave you with this...an excerpt from his speech...this will probably offend those of you who are die hard religious people, but this is the country i want...one that doesn't discriminate against people different from us, that shows love and compassion to those who need it most...remember this when you pick up your bible and thump at it someone when talking about all this political crap - jesus loved and dwelled among the "sinners" without discrimination, disdain or prejudice.

"America, our work will not be easy. The challenges we face require tough choices. And Democrats, as well as Republicans, will need to cast off the worn-out ideas and politics of the past, for part of what has been lost these past eight years can't just be measured by lost wages or bigger trade deficits. What has also been lost is our sense of common purpose, and that's what we have to restore.

We may not agree on abortion, but surely we can agree on reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies in this country.

The -- the reality of gun ownership may be different for hunters in rural Ohio than they are for those plagued by gang violence in Cleveland, but don't tell me we can't uphold the Second Amendment while keeping AK-47s out of the hands of criminals.

I know there are differences on same-sex marriage, but surely we can agree that our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters deserve to visit the person they love in a hospital and to live lives free of discrimination.

You know, passions may fly on immigration, but I don't know anyone who benefits when a mother is separated from her infant child or an employer undercuts American wages by hiring illegal workers. But this, too, is part of America's promise, the promise of a democracy where we can find the strength and grace to bridge divides and unite in common effort."

here's the link to his speech in it's entirety

what i should be doing....

i should be writing a blog about how great it is that we FINALLY got rid of cable and even the whole TV in general....and i swear i will too....after i spend another hour or two looking at cupcake paraphernalia on etsy.com....maybe.....cupcakes are sooooo alluring!

my addicitve personality is acting up again...geeeeez

dear stephenie meyer,

your twilight saga has gripped my heart. i am taken back to my own high school years and can now vividly remember just how electric just sitting next to the boy of your dreams was. the anticipation of first kisses and desperately needing to spend every waking moment with your love. your books grew from teenage infatuation to true love and the ultimate commitment to each other...i relived all my feelings for my hubby before we were married and i thank you....it's always good to remember that amazing spark that starts your own personal love story.

i do, however, have a few problems with you. first, my house work, my husband, my child, my parents, my friends, my neighbors, my dog, my personal hygiene, and my job have ALL suffered some degree of neglect because of you. second, it is very inconvenient to randomly sigh whilst thinking of edward and have to explain/or deny why to anyone who asks why you keep sighing and looking off into space with a dreamy expression on your face. third, along the same lines as number two, giggling like a school girl about a fictional character is not healthy. and last, but not least, you ENDED the saga. now what am i going to do. every other book i pick up pales in comparison. i am lost in a literal sea of books-to-be-read without a single one calling out to me to save me. i have even resorted to re-reading the saga. (it is just as good, if not better, the second time around, by the way) i suppose i will have to live with just talking about them over and over to anyone who will listen.

i like you stephenie meyer, but i am a little miffed.

yours mostly affectionately,

elisa.

p.s. the midnight release party for breaking dawn was amazing...i'm so glad we made "team edward" shirts and beat the crap out of those "team jacob" losers ....not really, but i wanted to...consider this a warning lahdeedah...i know where you live!

it's all good in the 'hood

it all started two years ago. shane and i decided that we should buy a house. we live in colorado...so we could not afford to buy the perfect house....one with a yard, basement, two/three car garage, on the water for candle-lit suppers and riparian delights, and room for a pony...we could afford a townhouse...with no yard, no basement, one car garage, not on the water (unless it rains really hard and the park floods) and definitely NO ponies. we were happy at first and even got a dog though our living situation would mean frequent dog walks and even more frequent poop scooping from the common community park. we loved our new furniture we got as a house warming present from my overly generous parents - I LOVE YOU MOMMY! we loved our huge (to us) kitchen with cabinet space for all my silly cooking devices. we loved THREE bathrooms. but, we suffered at the hands of a neighbor-who-shall-not-be-named (sound ominous huh?) because of our large dog and his large bark. we suffered the horrible parking/or lack there of when friends came over. we were plagued by teenage vandals in the park - spray painting and even attempting to light on fire our gazebo. we lamented no private yard. we were extremely jealous of those townhomes in the neighborhood with a/c and basements to which they could escape the heat. then...i was found to be with child...and i loathed our neighborhood more. i became the reclusive neighbor...the one who peaked out of the blinds and glared at those having fun in the park or chatting just a little too loud as they walked past on a stroll before dinner. i think i just didn't handle being pregnant well...i felt like i was in the movie alien and was being used as a host for something...creeps me out still! then the baby arrived - thank god it wasn't like in alien popping out of my chest and all that - she came almost to the day, one year after we moved into our house. i became even more reclusive...i think i suffered from post-partum depression actually. i began to dwell on only the negative stuff i saw around my house and neighborhood. even when my nieghbors would talk to me i would barely reply and was, i am quite sure, very rude to them...i apologize from the bottom of my heart - i have a horrible habbit of making poor first impressions and am frequently apologizing for my behaviour!

so while my kiddo was busy making fast friends with the neighbors with her daddy, i continued to stay inside and sulk. but one day - i can't pinpoint it - i snapped the heck out of it! i decided to join all the laughing smiling people in the park and i loved it. perhaps having a child makes you go out of your comfort zone a little more and more each day. children don't yet have that social boundary system in place and by association, you as the parent, are forced to abandon your personal bubble issues. all of a sudden things in the "hood" were different for me. the neighbor-who-shall-not-be-named was forgotten...mostly, new ways of parking friends' cars were found, and we commondeered the small patch of grass next to our house as "ours" (but we share!) and made our back porch a great hang out spot. we still don't have central a/c or a basement.....but we now have neighbors...no friends...who do and invite us over to escape the heat with them.

we've made a family of sorts in the neighborhood. there are families and couples with dog babies, no singles yet...but maybe someday, if we ever connect with the strange guy with the guitar. we share food, drinks, movies, music, and books. we are all so different as first glance but we all share a lot of background experience and interests. we play badminton into the night - with our special glow-in-the-dark birdie and have (newly named) "thirsty thursdays" together. but, most rewarding for me...and as my neighbor, dnsvm.blogspot.com, has already said...is having other women/mothers around me, supporting me, teaching me by example...befriending me and my little girl. that has meant the world to me. i feel safer in our neighborhood, i feel more at ease in this new life of mommyhood, and i feel like i have people to confide in. i love peeking out the window now, not with a glare but a grin, as i hear lister's bark as he gets walked down the street, or as i hear the twins and miss personality splashing in the pool, playing house in the gazebo, or running circles around each other through the trees in the park. now i want to scoop up my boo boo and run out there with them...i know the cold and snow will bring an end to some of the fun, but i think we'll adapt...and i can't wait!

the list...

so for a while now i have wanted to write a list of things i want to do/accomplish/achieve in my life. some are epic, some are mundane, some are not even close to being practical

so here goes in no particular order...

• take tennis lessons


• become a master at something/be the best in the world at something


• successfully make sushi


• have my own art show that i am actually proud of


• live in another country for 1-2 years


• look like i did when i got married


• finish the children's book i started a year ago


• start and complete another book i have an idea for


• illustrate said books


• be a better friend, wife, mother, daughter, neighbor...etc


• live in the moment


• come up with an epic life changing original idea


• be proud of who i am


• complete my arm sleeve


• find a job i love that pays me a lot of money


• take more time to volunteer and give back


• get out of debt


• take eisley to disney world/land


• go to hogwarts


• start a project that produces something tangible everyday for a year and record the process - and STICK TO IT and not abandon it after a week or two
• become fluent in german or french

well that's all for now - i'll add more i'm sure - any ideas for me on how to achieve these things - you know where to find me...

fairy cakes...

cupcakes, cuckoo cakes, mini cakes...

perhaps one of the easiest, but most rewarding baking you can do. simple ingredients, simple tools, come together to create an amazing, complex and delicious treat for 12. individual petite cakes - perfect on the go, perfect for portion control - that is if you can only eat one. i'm not talking about the big plastic box you buy at the grocery with day old cake, frosting with a crust and sprinkles still around from your mama's childhood years or boxed mixes complete with premade frosting and years old sprinkles (no offense - i know both are time saving to a certain extent but usually filled with LOADS of perservatives and junk). i'm talking about you and some flour, some sugar, and some milk (soy or cow's) and creating magic in your kitchen in about 25 minutes start to finish. mix it all up, spoon it in the cups and bake them...then, if you can wait till they are completely cool, let free all of your pent up creativity and create a masterpiece that you will be proud to carry around while wandering around your neighborhood looking for a friendly neighbor to share them with.

i made some really good cupcakes last night. i got the book Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World yesterday in the mail and decided that i couldn't wait to make some! i made the tiramisu cupcakes last night (cake was made vegan but i didn't have "vegan cream cheese" nor have i ever been able to find it- so i made normal icing) - let's just say this- to DIE FOR! i sent the remaining ones, after all the neighbors got one and me and shane each had one, to work with shane this morning...so we'll see what their verdict is when shane comes home tonight - they were from the night before so they might not be as good - but still - at 8am who can pass up a really pretty looking little fairy cake????

(i used starbucks coffee liqueur and a starbucks mocha dark chocolate bar for the chocolate curls, and hershey's special extra dark cocoa powder for finishing)

where the hell is matt?

Stream of Life
by Gitanjali

The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and day
runs through the world and dances in rhythmic measures.
It is the same life that shoots in joy through the dust of the earth
in numberless blades of grass
and breaks into tumultuous waves of leaves and flowers.
It is the same life that is rocked in the ocean-cradle of birth
and of death, in ebb and in flow.
I feel my limbs are made glorious by the touch of this world of life.
And my pride is from the life-throb of ages dancing in my blood this moment.

bento #3

bento #3:

baby carrots, edamame, teriyaki tofu, onigiri with black sesame seeds, and teriyaki quinoa balls.

bento #2

oooooh....bento #2:

baby carrots, edamame, onigiri (mine is made of bamboo rice - naturally that green color), tofu and veggie potstickers, tamari and potsticker dipping sauces, homemade (killer) blueberry muffin, and a banana!

i feel good...

i feel really good today. almost euphoric. weird.

it's raining outside - that might have something to do with - barometric pressure changes or something weird like that - like when women go into labor early because of a full moon or a freak snow storm in late may... maybe it can affect your mind too?

i did make fresh grapefruit, berry, and banana juice for breakfast this morning - fresh fruit gives you energy right?

i did some calesthenics too this morning - worked up a good sweat...perhaps i released an abundance of endorohins?

i haven't eaten dairy in a week....???

i left the house in a "clean" state...laundry done, dishes cleaned...what do they say? a clean home reflects a clean life...or something like that?

thanks god for whatever the reason behind my happiness and good feelings - ultimately it's you anyway!

my first attempt at bento!

it's not too pretty but kinda cute in a homemade sort of way! i gotta practice before eisley gets big enough to go to school - so shane gets cutesy lunches while i practice my "bento skills".

skinny b*$@h

so... i just read (literally i read it in like 3 hours) the book Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin. it was recommended to me as a supplement to my reading of YOU: on a diet and The Healthiest Kid in the Neighborhood which i have mentioned before. it starts off telling you exactly the same stuff in the other two books - don't eat high fructose corn syrup, don't eat anything with dyes, eat whole grains, don't eat hydrogentated oils....blah blah blah boring i already KNOW this. but then.......the books hits you up side the head with the facts on meat and dairy in our society. wow. shane actually asked me what was wrong cause i was so shocked i couldn't speak. the book brought tears to my eyes, not only from the horrific stories (there aren't many - it's not a PETA pamphlet) of animal abuse and slaughter practices, but also from the policies or lack there of on the safety of the food that actually reaches our mouths via grocery stores and restaurants. i was pretty disheartened about my supposed "healthy" eating plan that i had in place for not only me but my husband and child. so that being said, we as a family are going to try and cut out most (if not all, in time) of our dairy and meat consumption. i want this to be clear too - that i don't in fact think it unethical to kill for food. i am concerned about how the food that i buy is killed and the seriously gross practices of the meat industry that compromise my family's health. i have ordered a few books from amazon to help us start slowly cutting out certain things... i'll post reviews as i read them...

for now, i leave you with an exerpt from the book. this is what put me over the edge.

"A worker at another poultry plant said, 'Every day, I saw black chicken, green chicken, chicken that stank, chicken with feces on it. Chicken like this is supposed to be thrown away, but instead it would be sent down the line to be processed.' Another worker at another plant said, 'I personally have seen rotten meat - you can tell by the odor. This rotten meat is mixed with the fresh food and is sold for baby food. We are asked to mix it with the fresh food and this is the way it is sold. You can see the worms inside the meat. " Skinny Bitch pg74.

take your health seriously - you only live once - now there's a different way to look at that saying!

p.s. the book does contain A LOT of profanity - i mean look at the title :) But, if you can get past it - it's brutally honest and a good quick, enlightening read.

the smell of summer...

the wind runs its fingers through my hair
the sun delicately kisses my face
the smell of summer tempts my nose
the trees whisper sweet nothings to me as i pass
the sky bright blue like silk
the clouds soft white like cotton
ducks drift lazily downstream
a butterfly challenges me to a race around the pond


i have just had what can only be described as an "amelie" moment. all was right in the world. i wish i could have filmed my bike ride this afternoon - it was poetic, inspiring, calming, perfect.

lately i've noticed that i am much happeir than i was about a year ago. maybe it's exercising more - that high that people say they get when they exercise - maybe it's finally kicked in for me. what ever the reason, i'm not as depressed or as down as i was before and i am glad! i feel like i am reclaiming my life once more and i like where it is heading.

one more thing - i don't know what smelled sooooo good outside today - but i wish i could bottle and sell it as the essence of summer - i could live in the smell today.

no babies yet...

"WHAT?!?!?!?!!" you are saying to yourself right now, "THEY WANT MORE KIDS??? I THOUGHT THEY WERE DONE...."

you're right - we are soooooooooo done (well, maybe we'll adopt a little boy someday - but yeah we're done having babies)

what i AM talking about is....it has been over 17 days since the earwig decided that my ear looked like a pleasant dwelling place. 17 days? why is 17 days important? it takes 17 days for an earwigs eggs to hatch. there no babies in my ear that i know of - thank god - but maybe they're just realllllly tiny right now and i can't tell...

*whimper, whimper*

a squashed bug...

dear silver beetle,

you will not be missed. i'm sorry to say it because at one time i had high hopes for you. you were never that shiny, that cute, that good in the snow, that peppy, or that great overall...like we so hoped you would have been. i will not miss your weird sound you made when first turning the engine over in the morning. i will not miss your dents and sad scratches. i will not miss your dodgy tape deck that sometime worked and sometimes didn't. i will not miss having to stamp on the brakes to make you stop or because your clutch caught so high, the many times i pealed out, turning heads and embarrassing me. i will miss, however, your seat warmers. they were one of your few redeeming qualities. i will also miss your sunroof - though i never did figure out how to open it all the way. i never sat in your back seat - i don't think i missed much there though. i'm not sad to see you go. though i must say that it was strange this morning to not see your very uniquely shaped body outside the house.

please be kinder to your knew drivers than you were to us. i don't want to give you a complex - you weren't awful...just not great...and we want great. i'm sorry we took so long to let you know how we really felt about you. we should have dealt with this failed relationship long ago and i apologize for that. we've moved on and i hope you will too.

yours no more,

the beesons.

bee in your bonnet?

yesterday, i had the most horrific, traumatizing experience...


let me set the scene for you...


i am sitting on the stairs leading down to the "park" in our neighborhood holding eisley talking with some of our neighbors and watching our next door neighbor's little girl mia yell at lewy repeatedly to drop his ball for her to throw...'dwop it woowee dwop it dwop it dwop it dwop it!!!!" ( he did eventually 'dwop' it for her ) all is well, the sun is shining, there are even the proverbial birds singing! i decide to let eisley walk around in the grass...yes, she is walking...kind of, mostly, sporadically and only on her terms...all of a sudden i feel/hear a flutter-like something in my ear. i quickly wave my hand by my ear, but feel like the something has flown into my ear or something. i say aloud - "gross, i think a bug just flew in my ear!" i call shane over to look in there for evidence of the supposed bug intruder...he doesn't see anything(this time). i go about playing with the boo boo...then i hear the flutter again - this time definitely IN my ear. "shane, look in there now"...nothing... the neighbors advise me to get a q-tip and get the sucker out, but i'm too afraid to squish it in there or something...minutes go by...i can FEEL it in there now which is even worse than just hearing it!!!!!!!!! "SHANE, look now!" he rushes over and in only a way he could so delicately put it..."HOLY COW!" i of course freak the heck out! "what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it? he tells me to hold still, meanwhile everyone in the park, including the little girl mia, our dog lewy and his furry friend lister, are looking at me with concern.





*graphic content to follow be warned!*





OUT CRAWLS not flies a LONG BUG...let that just sink in for a moment...upon seeing shane it THEN IT CRAWLS BACK IN! 15 seconds later (the longest of my life), it reemerges and shane deftly brushes it off me. i feel like i have bugs alllllll over me (think indiana jones the temple of doom when the lady has to reach into the grimey hole and pull the level and there are creepy crawlies all over her) and i am on the verge of tears - my eyes welled up and i ask "what was that!!!" shane, again so delicately, "oh my god it was an EARWIG!" i nearly threw up right there on the spot! my neighbor denise (lister's mom) says "geez, shane you coulda lied to her!" yeah i really would have liked NOT knowing what exactly it was! you see, i have a history with earwigs......again let me set the scene


beautiful summer day, i am young - elementary school age - and i have just come in from playing outside for something to drink. my mom used to save and wash our straws from mcdonalds or wherever and kept them in the dish drainer next to the sink. i grabbed a straw put in my beverage and took a long drink - something foreign and solid is in my mouth. i spit it out and it was an earwig....so gross...i know check every straw i use - ALWAYS...just in case.


what is up with me and the earwigs???? i'm still pretty freaked out it layed eggs in my ear or something out of a horror movie is gonna happen to me....remember the Wrath of Khan - they killed a guy by putting a bug in his ear....remember Broke Down Palace - she almost died because a cockroach layed eggs in her ear! maybe it's just psychological, but i swear my ear feels different...grossssssssss


i hate bugs ( whimper whimper )

the boob tube

that's it!

i've had it!







i'm swearing off tv for a while...well, after LOST is finished, that is...i mean really, i can't miss those precious few episodes left!


Lately, i've realized just how much mind-numbing worthless tv i watch in a day. let's count shall we...

a. me and the boo boo watch either Lazytown ( crazy icelandic puppet and humans in weird costumes show ) or Go, Diego, Go every morning while we eat breakfast.

30 min.

b. if i am working, then no more tv that morning for me - just lots of internet surfing at work. but if i am at home with the boo boo, then we'll continue watching noggin or nick jr or playhouse disney with bunnytown, wonderpets ( again strange strange super hero pets who only save "baby" animals...weird), or even weirder Yo Gabba Gabba! ( which i secretly LOVE - even though dj lance has to be gay - i mean wow! ), and lastly the most normal of them all my friends tigger and pooh ( where did christopher robbin go and who is darby? )

1-1.5 hrs

c. baby goes down for morning nap, i turn the channel immediately to the either FLN, HGTV, or the food network and allow myself 1 show of home decorating or culinary know how. then i promptly get in the shower.

30 min.

d. baby wakes up, shane is home for lunch and we watch some mind numbing child show again - sometimes dora the explorer is on and it's too cute to pass up when eisley yells at the tv "dowa dowa dowa dowa dowa!!!!!!"

30 min.

e. bye bye hunny! me and the boo boo run and errand or two, go for a long bike ride and then she is down for yet another nap! i empty the dishwasher and then sit down for some "good " tv watching...i'm talking the real world, or america's next top model reruns, more cooking shows...whatever, as long as it is mindlessly entertaining

1-1.5 hrs

f. baby wakes up, shane is home from work. more bike riding or walking. cooking dinner. baby goes to bed we eat and watch MORE tv....we have dedicated tv watching to do: mondays: the hills, tuesdays: tila tequila 2 - i know it horrible, but it's like watching a car crash, you can't look away, wednesdays: america's next top model and the ultimate fighter, thursdays: the office, and lost, fridays: well there's nothing on on fridays but we still watch tv.

2-3hrs

let's add

on the high end ( when i am home all day) : 7.5 hrs!
on the low end ( when i am home all day): 5.5
on the low end ( when i am working): 3.5
on the high end ( when i am working): 5

OH MY GOD! that is disgusting - i am so grossed out! i will say this - i do house hold stuff while watching this, but not enough to justify any of it! ew ew ew ew ew...

we need to get a treadmill badly so i can at least run or do something fitness related while the baby naps!

anyone want to lay off the boob tube with me - after lost finishes in month or so?

do you ever want to do this?

do you ever want to write yourself a dear john letter? (what's with me and dear john letters these days?)

dear me,

don't take this personally or anything but i'm just over you! i no longer wish to continue this relationship. please return all my stuff to the enclosed address. i do not wish to have any more contact with you.

sincerely,
you.

yep, i'm over myself. i'm ready for a re-vamp or something...

happy birthday!

happy birthday betsy boo boo boo - i'm a day early but i always like my birthdays to last a good long time anyway! i miss you terribly!

why gnomes...

i seem to have left out from the beginning why i named my blog "helping garden gnomes." sadly i see that this makes me seem like a slight weirdo who actually believes that gnomes are real living things that need saving apparently. this is not the case i assure you! although i might change my mind if any more news reports surface about that gnome in argentina - just kidding!

the phrase "it's better to help people than garden gnomes" comes from the movie amelie (notice the gnome in the trailer). if you haven't seen this movie - do. i will warn you that there is some objectionable content (a sex scene near the beginning, one in the middle, and one of the characters works at a sex shop) but please don't let that deter you too much! this is a tale of a terribly shy secret-do-gooder who decides to help change the lives of those around her, while struggling with her own isolation. at a point in the film she removes a gnome statue from her father's garden and sends him on a trip around the world - this in turn makes her father realize that he too could get out and see the world. she finds that is better to help people than just garden gnomes. here is maybe my favorite scene from the movie. amelie has just accomplished successfully her first act of kindness and is ready for more. she knows of a blind man that sits in the subway playing music from a record player for money. she sees him on the street and becomes his eyes for a brief moment.



this is what i would like my life to be like, but unfortunately, i tend to help the gnomes more than the people around me. that's why i titled my blog helping garden gnomes. kind of sad really. i'm working on it though :)

imelda?

imelda? like imelda marcos with all the shoes? i'm not sure actually, but sawyer from lost tells me that's what his nickname for me would be on the island.

lost nickname generator

the terrorizing gnome of argentina!

my friend tirzah, "the african beauty", just sent me a link that i think deserves posting. this is why i try to help garden gnomes whenever possible...they start to terrorize people if not looked after properly.

"creepy gnome" terrorizes town

you're haunting me

dearest starbucks,

i realized yesterday after i wrote to you about my unfaithfulness that your presence will always haunt me. yesterday while at the grocery, i saw your face no less than four times. my first reminder of our old life together was immediately upon entering the store. there you were, hiding in the corner tucked away next to the specialty cheese cooler, your gentle fragrance slowly swirling around beckoning me to come to you and enjoy your warm flavor. but i held strong, those times are over between us - we can meet occasionally, but you will not bully me or manipulate me back into a serious relationship with you.

i then passed a cooler of drinks and saw your face again. a bottled frappucino - which i don't like - but i was almost tempted. then, down the coffee aisle. shelves upon shelves of your wonderfully roasted beans calling out to me. my will power held as you tried desperately to lure me back. but then, i went down the snack aisle...a seemingly safe zone from temptations from you. i glanced to the left and there on the top shelf, in beautifully simple and alluring packaging, you were. you were disguised as a mocha dark chocolate bar - i had never seen that side of you before and a glimmer of our old life and a hope for a new future between us was sparked. your scheming ways worked. i bought you and delighted in your perfectly smooth creamy chocolate with just the right hint of coffee and bits of bean. i suppose our relationship can continue a little longer in this new way. but i am warning you that i'm on to you - i know this could be some kind of trap and i am ready to run if i have to. i want to trust you, i do.

your apprehensively,
elisa.

p.s. i truly think it was a sign that i looked left last night as it was your first day of being chocolate too. http://www.starbucks.com/aboutus/pressdesc.asp?id=838

confessions...

dearest starbucks,

i know i've been distant lately and we haven't been seeing as much of each other. i'm sorry i haven't been completely honest with you. i don't know quite how to put this. i suppose i should just get it out there fast and quick like ripping off a band aid.

i have been going somewhere else.

it was a chance encounter. my parents introduced us at christmas time and we really hit it off. i've actually been going almost every day. i know we've shared some truly great times recently. last saturday when the weather finally felt like spring and we walked to see you and sat beneath your shady green umbrellas is a memory i will cherish forever. and our time every friday afternoon with lauren at coffee club has brought times of joy and renewal to our lives. there were weeks where i sought you out every day, and days where i would go out of my way to see you several times a day. i couldn't get enough of you. in a way you could say i became obsessed. you have a luring quality that cannot be denied.

but, this new place is a new way of life. it's a change that i have longed for. i only have to walk as far as my kitchen to enjoy the beautiful aroma of a freshly pulled espresso shot. in fact, it's moved in permanently. here it doesn't matter if i get cleaned up or put on makeup. here i can totally be myself. and honestly, not to hurt you but to inform you, here is much much better coffee and you are not a cheap date. i mean, $3.50 for a latte? here it only costs maybe a dollar. my eyes were opened to your sometimes scheming ways. i wanted an out and i found one.

you'll always have a special place in my heart and i hope we can still be friends and see each other socially every now and then. we'll always have friday afternoon coffee club and sundays after church. i hope you know that i never meant to hurt you.

yours affectionately,
elisa.

p.s. i'm sorry that my parents actually met your replacement while visiting you...i know he's like your brother and i'm sure that is very hard for you.

ok two things..real quick...

No 1. i realized that i mentioned that i am planning to run the bolder boulder this year. i have as of this second 87 days, 19 hours, 1 min, 41 seconds...40, 39, 38, 37...you get the idea. i think you are due an update of my slow and somewhat shaky progress. i started out not being able to run more than one and half minutes before having to walk one in between! I now can proudly say i can run 5 minutes with 1 - 2 min walking in between...almost indefinitely...which, if by indefinitely you interpret that to mean a half an hour then you are dead on! so let's do some math. yippee! the bolder boulder is a 10K or 6.2 mile course. i can run for about 2 miles - in 30 minutes which equals SLOW! so in 87 days, 18 hours, 57 min, 39 seconds, 38, 37, 36...i have to increase my mileage 200% and my speed so that i am not rudely, but justly, KICKED OFF the course so that the "professional" (read speedy) runners can do what the days is all about - race, not hope and pray just to make it to the end!

No 2. i read this on a friend's blog and thought that my non-mutual friends would also benefit from this humorous story:

starbucks closes to learn how to make coffee.

yep it's true, you have been paying $3.50 for a latte that wasn't really a latte...apparently?

three billy goats gruff

i've never really liked this fable much, because it seems like no one in it is actually behaving like they should. however, this is a popular fable to tell children and i've even seen school plays based on it. let's take a quick look at this fable shall we...like all children's fables they hold a lot of "moral guidance" but in this case, i don't think it's all that great.


here it is from the norwegian version (the one most of us were heard as children) words of the troll in red:

Once upon a time there were three billy goats, who wanted to go up to the hillside to make themselves fat, and the name of all three was "Gruff."
On the way up was a bridge over a cascading stream they had to cross; and under the bridge lived a great ugly troll , with eyes as big as saucers, and a nose as long as a poker.
So first of all came the youngest Billy Goat Gruff to cross the bridge.
"Trip, trap, trip, trap! " went the bridge.
"Who's that tripping over my bridge?" roared the troll .
"Oh, it is only I, the tiniest Billy Goat Gruff , and I'm going up to the hillside to make myself fat," said the billy goat, with such a small voice.
"Now, I'm coming to gobble you up," said the troll.
"Oh, no! pray don't take me. I'm too little, that I am," said the billy goat. "Wait a bit till the second Billy Goat Gruff comes. He's much bigger."
"Well, be off with you," said the troll.
A little while after came the second Billy Goat Gruff to cross the bridge.
Trip, trap, trip, trap, trip, trap, went the bridge.
"Who's that tripping over my bridge?" roared the troll.
"Oh, it's the second Billy Goat Gruff , and I'm going up to the hillside to make myself fat," said the billy goat, who hadn't such a small voice.
"Now I'm coming to gobble you up," said the troll.
"Oh, no! Don't take me. Wait a little till the big Billy Goat Gruff comes. He's much bigger."
"Very well! Be off with you," said the troll.
But just then up came the big Billy Goat Gruff .
Trip, trap, trip, trap, trip, trap! went the bridge, for the billy goat was so heavy that the bridge creaked and groaned under him.
"Who's that tramping over my bridge?" roared the troll.
"It's I! The big Billy Goat Gruff ," said the billy goat, who had an ugly hoarse voice of his own.
"Now I 'm coming to gobble you up," roared the troll.
"Well, come along! I've got two spears,And I'll poke your eyeballs out at your ears;I've got besides two curling-stones,And I'll crush you to bits, body and bones."
That was what the big billy goat said. And then he flew at the troll, and poked his eyes out with his horns, and crushed him to bits, body and bones, and tossed him out into the cascade, and after that he went up to the hillside. There the billy goats got so fat they were scarcely able to walk home again.


ok, so here's the typical moral extruded from this story: if you are brave and stand up for yourself, you will defeat your enemies and treat others as you would like to be treated.

But really is that what you see when you read this story? here's what i see. first, two billy goats who are willing to sell out their friends for their own gain. they would rather let their friends die so that they can get fat on the hillside across the bridge. second, the troll is mean and ugly, but it's HIS bridge, HIS home -he dies protecting his home. third, a beefed up goat with an anger problem who gets away with murder. and lastly, three gluttonous little goats gruff who spend the rest of their lives getting fat on someone else's land.

here's the real morals portrayed: cheat, lie and do whatever it takes to save your own butt and get what you want and if you are physically able to hurt someone to get to your goal - go for it!

lost and found....god i hope not!

lost starts up again tonight and i am soooooo excited! the links between the movie cloverfield and lost are amazing and wouldn't that be a stroke of genious to somehow really tie them both in togther? yeah it would make history!

update....

so i attended my first knitting club meeting last night.... here's a visual reinactment of the first 20 minutes....

i walk in to borders about 10 minutes late - about twenty ladies have pushed several tables together and there is NO room to join them, so i sit in a comfy chair with my back to them - thinking in my head - oh my god i'm so embarrassed!

so, naturally, i text shane:

me: "oh my word there are a million ladies here and they're all at one huge table with no more chairs. what should i do? i am at least twenty years younger than any of them!"

and shane replies oh so comfortingly "OH MY GOD. did they already see you?" (gee thanks honey!)

me: "well i don't know they're all talking and knitting. i should have gotten here at 6.30 on the dot!"

shane: "can you grab a chair from somewhere else?"

me: "well...i'm in a chair right next to them with my back to them. i'm afraid to say anything"

shane (again so helpful): "oh...i don't know? just say hi or something"

shane two minutes later: "just do it!"

me: "i'm such a chicken!"

then thankfully two more women ( Barbara and Nina ) came in late! i asked to join them and they were super nice! i found out that Nina takes dog agility lessons from denise who also taught my dad and rob! so i knitted with them for quite a while then when they left the main table asked me to join them...wow i felt so cool hahahahahaha! they were all really nice and quite impressed that i had designed my own purse pattern with cables and all! it was actually really fun but a little awkward at first - aren't most good things that way though?

you know you have a problem when...

....your knitting addiction has taken over your house even more so than your 10 month old's toys and various neccessities! here's the corner behind where our two (beautiful green) couches meet and the main dumping location for all things yarn related.

but...from this chaos, has come three very beautiful little things :) first a purse for tess, second a cute little green felted box - completely un-useful, and third a beautiful little purse for emily.

also, i will be attending my first meeting of the Knitters Guild of Northern Colorado tonight. i will be the youngest one there by at least 10-15 years. but, i feel that like in most areas of your life it is wise to have older more experienced mentors around for guidance - even if it is about "just how do i exaclty make a bobble?" wish me luck :)